


where we came from; where we're going

by gomamon



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Gen, but... my family..., i don't think anyone is gonna read this but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 05:11:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10780242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gomamon/pseuds/gomamon
Summary: Alex and Winn talk a little about Winn's father, Jeremiah, and J'onn.





	where we came from; where we're going

**Author's Note:**

> something i thought of at 3AM to distract myself from an anxiety dream. we love the found family trope.

She calls him by his full name, just to tease him. When he flinches, Alex feels the shame come off of him in one huge, dark wave. 

“Winn, hey, I’m sorry. I forgot that’s his name, too.”

Winn leans back in his chair before looking Alex dead in the eye. He’s been doing that, lately. It’s haunting, almost, but she keeps trying to remember it’s because he trusts her. After years of being alone, of being a child in a world that didn’t want him, he trusts her. 

“I forget sometimes too. Until you, uh,” Winn rubs the back of his head. “Until you gave me a gun the first time.”

Alex remembers it. She hadn’t thought about his father then, either. She remembers the look on Winn’s face as he gingerly passed the firearm from one hand to another, like he didn’t think he was allowed to touch it, like his big sister had handed him his father’s most precious item on a dare.

(She knew, now, that she had.)

Not wanting to force anything, she simply tilts her head.

Winn smirks, almost secretly, picking up on the trick Alex definitely learned from the one person in National City who _might_ be worse than him at pool. His phone is flooded with multiple arguments over the subject. 

He turns back to his computer before adding, “I remember every time I get carded or every time those telemarketers call me and go, ‘is this Winslow Schott Jr.?’” 

Alex is silent, but only for a moment. 

“You still get carded?”

With a huff, Winn looks up and meets Alex’s eye again. She grins and he can’t help but reciprocate. Damn her. 

“Yeah. Must be such a foreign concept to someone as old as you.”

Gasping, Alex smacks Winn’s arm playfully. He puts up his hands in apology, in surrender. 

The moment settles around them, with Winn turning back to whatever code he was writing, but Alex can feel what she wants to say, what she’s been meaning to say to Winn for a while, now, bubble to the surface.

“Hey, Winn.”

“Yeah?”

“I know it’s not really the same, that our dads aren’t really comparable, but, uh. I’ve been thinking about it lately.”

“About our da-“

“Don’t say what I know you're about to say.”

Winn clears his throat. “Got it.”

Alex shifts so she’s leaning against his desk; her own way of keeping this as casual as possible. These days, she’s trying to be more open about her feelings, but it’s a learning process. Her words come out jumbled, like she’s coming out of a 28 year old nap and she’s still sweaty, groggy, and exhausted. With Maggie and with Kara, it’s a little easier, because they always seem to know what she wants to say, even before she says it. With J’onn, he often _literally_ knows what she wants to say, but he always lets her get there on her own.

“Anyway, I was, uh, I just wanted to tell you that, uh.” Alex fiddles with her hands as she mumbles, feeling ridiculous. 

Finally, when Winn looks at her again, like he’s about to hang on to every word, she lets out a long breath before continuing. 

“We aren’t the mistakes our fathers made. We don’t have to let their choices define who we are. Especially you, Winn. I know your dad is a bad guy, but you aren’t. And, uh, if I’m being honest, I don’t think you ever will be, but if you turn to that darkness, I promise you, Winn, I’ll be there to guide you back. We all will be.”

Winn doesn’t say anything, not at first, and she feels the coldness seep into her bones, into her blood. She should’ve known that telling him this when his father is a goddamn serial killer while her father is just…. whatever he is… was insensitive. 

Winn stands, probably to leave. Maybe he’ll never come back. Will Kara hate her? Will James? Will J’onn be able to find a replacement? Will she cry about this, later? Probably. _Fuck_.

She’s about to turn and leave, to run to her lab to call Maggie, until she can’t move. Winn is hugging her. 

And suddenly, the cold is gone. It evaporates in the air as she exhales. She inhales as she wraps her arms around him, warmth replacing all the spaces where the cold had invaded. 

Winn wants to tell her he’s proud, because in all the time he’s known Alex Danvers, he’s known she sucks at this. It’s one of the few things she’s not good at, but she’s getting better. But, he decides, that would be sort of weird and instead pulls back to say, “Alex, thank you,” because he is thankful. In the year that they’ve all been going to space, catching aliens, and stopping the bad guys, he hadn’t completely forgotten that his dad _is_ one of those bad guys. Alex didn’t forget either, especially when her own father _became_ one of the bad guys. 

Sure, it may not be the same, but he’s getting to know her, to know that relating to him can be hard for her. He knows that she’s telling the truth, and that she's his family. Truthfully, he's been feeling this a lot more lately. He feels it every time she teases him about Lyra, every time she ducks her head and grins when he teases her about Maggie right back. He feels it when she helps him adjust his bulletproof vest. 

“For what it’s worth, I still think Jeremiah could come back,” Winn offers, trying to keep his voice light. “I mean, I’d take J’onn as my boss over Lillian Luthor any day.”

At that, Alex lets out breathy laugh. “Sometimes, when J’onn makes me go home early, I wanna tell him, ‘CADMUS would probably let me stay late!’” She says this almost defiantly, like a rebellious teenager. It’s probably the funniest thing Winn has heard Alex say.

This time, Winn gasps. “Alex! You wouldn’t.”

“You’re right, I wouldn’t. But… I wish he’d stop sending me home early like that.”

“Alex, the man cares about you. He’s just trying to do what’s best for you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. He always wants to do what’s best for all of us.”

(There’s something unspoken between them about fathers and J’onn, but neither of them pushes it.)

After a moment, Alex just offers him a slight smirk before nodding and wandering off, mumbling something about Maggie and her lab. He realizes she’s escaping to regroup, a true soldier, and he accepts it. 

Maybe someday, he thinks to himself as he sits down, the both of them will truly, absolutely, be okay. 

Maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> send all hate mail to @danversvevo on tumblr dot hell


End file.
